My Old Life, as I now call it, was complicated on every level. Spending most of my time and energy pleasing others, feeling I somehow had to prove myself. I was a busy Mum and a wife, carving out a career. I was a daughter, a sister and a good friend to many. All the while trying so hard to find that work/ life balance that had so far eluded me.
Unbeknown to me at the time, I was stretching myself too far. Taking on extra shifts, helping at the children’s school while racing the clock to keep the home fires burning.
My friends, family and work colleagues would often ask me how I managed to do so much? I couldn’t tell them I was questioning that myself, along with my sanity!! The happy go lucky person they saw was exhausted, emotionally confused and drained. I thought if I worked harder and smarter I could get myself back on track. Looking back now, it is funny how things work out. Trying to work harder and smarter pushed me to my breaking point. I was suffering from burn out. Go figure!
I needed a month off work to recharge my batteries while thinking about the direction I wanted my life to take in the future, and at what cost to my health?
It felt quite foreign to me; to be resting instead of ‘DOING’. after all I was usually running around managing everything perfectly before wasn’t I??
I decided my life was too precious to not enjoy it. My burn out had forced me to make some changes toward removing stress from my life. I needed some help to find direction in my life, so I decided to have a psychic phone reading to help me find the clarity I was needing.
This was to become my new life mantra! Here are some of the ideas I came up with to create my new life, to walk my walk, talk my talk and live by my Burn Bright – Not out mantra.
Follow Your Heart
Previously I had walked (or in my case RUN) to the beat of everyone else’s drum. I burnt out trying to live up to what others expected of me. I was not honouring myself, I felt disappointed for not following the direction my heart was offering. I decided to get to know who I was again. Taking time to find out what made my heart sing. I wanted to lift my heavy energy and discover what brought me enjoyment. I began to shine when I allowed myself to follow my heart and walk my own path.
See the Flip Side
I taught myself, one step at a time to watch my thoughts and feelings.
Rather than getting bogged down in the ‘drama’ learn to flip the situation/ problem. I chose to look at what benefits may actually come from this so called terrible situation. What opportunities may come after this storm passes? What does this situation actually make ME feel, rather than joining in on what everyone else feels, I learnt to take the time to have and explore my own thoughts and opinions.
It is not always easy to look beyond the problem at hand, or to hold positive thoughts when things seem to be going wrong.
Sometimes what seems like a bad situation can be an opportunity to make positive change. Be the change you want to see is a message that was frequently shared during my phone psychic readings.
Compassion verses Competition
Taking the time to stop and listen to someone who is having their own problems or difficulties can be a healing process for both parties. It is human nature to be competitive and at times feel the need to defend ourselves or behaviour. If we are too busy stressing over our own issues, we are more open to being competitive and defensive, often leading to being misinterpreted, misunderstood and at times creating relationship breakdowns.
We have all found ourselves at times feeling the need to compete against others, or sit in judgement of their choices.
Refocus your perspective, stop and find your compassionate side. Allow others to have their time to express their thoughts and feelings, while choosing not to become entangled in their energy. Once you start being aware of your thoughts and actions, allowing your compassion for others to be present, you will feel more positive within yourself. Meanwhile those you showed compassion and understanding will feel more validated. They will feel their problems, opinions and perspectives are also important.
I call that a win win situation.
Release the build up
When we live in overdrive like ‘my old life’, our heads are rarely in a state of clear thinking. Often feeling heavy frustrated and confused, we may think we have everything under control. Only to find ourselves juggling many unfinished projects at once.
Due to the lack of clear thinking, we often remain stuck in this never ending cycle of non achievement, often repeating the same cycle over and over again. I don’t need to tell you how draining that can be.
Find ways to de-clutter your thinking.
You will find yourself achieving more, using less energy in your progression, often finding yourself becoming more efficient in many directions of your life. There are no hard and fast rules to spring cleaning your mind, so take the time to experiment with a few different activities to see what works best for you.
The following suggestions may help, or find your own favourite activities that allow your head some quiet time.
Meditation, reading, gardening, walking, listening to music, spending time in nature etc. Are all great ways to release the build up in your head? There are endless ways to find this peace and quiet, start finding yours today.
Toxic Situations and Relationships
As you practise ways to simplify your life, you may notice some of the relationships and situations in your life, may very well be one of the areas that you need to take a good look at. For example – you may come away from certain people or situations feeling drained and totally wiped out. Take some time to recognise how good or not so good you feel when you around certain people or repetitive situations. Honour yourself by either reducing the time you spend interacting with these people and make a conscious point not to keep repeating unhealthy experiences or relationships.
Small changes to the way you feel about who you are and where you are heading in your life often bring big changes to the way you now handle things. You will find yourself attracting new and more like minded people and positive opportunities into your life.
Is Your Compass Correct
I was burning the candle at both ends while working hard to build a strong and successful career. Although I was enjoying what my work involved, I would often find myself feeling tense and stressed by the time I arrived at work. I found myself struggling to stay motivated and productive. I started to notice feeling physically sick each morning as I drove to work.
I could no longer ignore that fact this uncomfortable feeling was associated with my work. I learnt to be guided by my inner compass. I needed time out to create moments of peace. Moments to think about what was right for me, to feel what it was like to feel my own feelings.
If it felt right, I would do more of it. If it felt wrong, I stepped away from it, consciously distracting my thoughts and feelings back to what felt right. One step at a time guiding myself back in the right direction.
I chose to resign from my position and follow what felt right. Now I am not saying if you are having a hard time at work that you just throw in the towel and give up! Just take the time to ‘check’ your feelings before, during and after work.
Check for ways of improving difficult situations. Once you can identify what is not working you can then find ways to correct them and change. Affirmations are great for creating positive changes in life. Imagine how great it would feel looking forward to going to work each day and enjoying it.
Be Kind to Yourself
We all know that life has lots of good moments, and some not so good moments. How you choose to respond and react to the good and the not so good, will actually effect your future progression. If you take the time to enjoy what is important to you, you will gradually work your way towards achieving your long term goals. You will have the time, energy, $$$, relationship or whatever it is you are working towards.
The kinder you are to yourself and others, the simpler your life will become. After all, we are meant to enjoy life. Try it!! What have you got to lose?